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liampaynetration:

I can’t wait to turn 18 because I’ll be instantly hot that’s how the rules go

  • pedophile:

    i have candy get in the van

  • me:

    no

  • pedophile:

    the van has wifi

  • me:

    ok

harrysgettinhead:

i might sell my soul if ed sheeran would explain to me what ‘be like you’ is about

vondell-swain:

barack obama is terrible at movie titles

vondell-swain:

barack obama is terrible at movie titles

stultifyandstupefy:

derpes:

And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”

And Abraham replied, “What.”

God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.

commanderinqueef:

help I’ve fallen and am perfectly capable of getting up but refuse to